8 Christian Movies That Could Be Made (Including A Few That Shouldn't Be)

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With this week's premiere of The Bible on the History Channel, along with last year's Blue Like Jazz movie and the upcoming film based on the Noah story by Darren Aronofsky, I thought it might be time to explore some other Christian classics (using the word loosely) that are due for the cinematic treatment.

Confessions

Director:
Xavier Beauvois (Of Gods and Men)

Starring:
Ben Barnes (The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian) as Young Augustine
Javier Bardem (No Country for Old Men) as Old Augustine
Monica Bellucci (The Passion of the Christ) as Monica
Michael Lonsdale (Of Gods and Men) as Ambrose

Synopsis: The acclaimed director of Of Gods and Men brings to life one of history's first autobiographies. The narrative focuses on Augustine (Javier Bardem) re-telling his life story to a young protege. He explores his youth, his conversion and his relationship with his mother, all while interweaving them into the development of his relationship with God.

Thoughts: I would totally see this movie. I'm excited to see this movie. I'm disappointed this movie isn't being made right now.

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

Director:
RomComDirect-O-Bot 2.0 (Meh: The Movie)

Starring:
An Assortment of Non-Threatening Pretty People (Various CW Shows)
That One Guy (Random Episode of House) as Joshua Harris

Synopsis: A group of predominantly white and indiscriminately pretty people struggle with the basic tenants of human interaction which have been in place for thousands of years. In despair, the group of teenage youths turn to a twenty-something "expert" who does his best to solve problems that don't actually exist. The "expert's" advice ultimately proves fruitless, but no one notices since the film ends abruptly before the final scene, presumably because the screenwriter had something better to do.

Thoughts: They can't all be winners.

Could Andrew Garfield pull this off?

Irresistible Revolution

Director:
Cameron Crowe (Almost Famous)

Starring:
Andrew Garfield (The Social Network) as Shane Claiborne
James Gandolfini (The Sopranos) as Tony Campolo
Emmanuelle Riva (Amour) as Mother Theresa

Synopsis: The film follows our hero Shane as he begins to come to terms with the injustice of the world. Led by his mentor Tony, Shane begins to experience the rich and vibrant life of the inner-city and seeks to reclaim beauty in this broken place, eventually dedicating himself to live among those who he has come to love.

Thoughts: A coming of age tale with a strong element of social justice thrown in could make a good movie. However, it would take some skill to walk the line between heavy-handed and removing the content that made the book meaningful.

The Epistles of Paul

Director:
Paul Thomas Anderson (There Will Be Blood)

Starring:
Daniel Day-Lewis (Lincoln) as Paul

Synopsis: The entire film was shot in one take and is comprised of Paul (Day-Lewis) reading a letter to himself, pondering the questions contained therein as he goes about his daily business of making a tent, then writing out a lengthy response. There was no screenplay and Day-Lewis improvised the very small monologues seen in the movie.

Thoughts: If you really like the silent parts of Cast Away, you might find this mesmerizing.

Revelations of Divine Love

Director:
Darren Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream)

Starring:
Carey Mulligan (An Education) as Julian of Norwich
Michael Caine (The Dark Knight) as The Priest
Christian Bale (The Dark Knight) as Jesus

Synopsis: When young Julian falls deathly ill, she experiences sixteen visual revelations of Christ. Aronofsky (Requiem for a Dream, The Fountain, Black Swan) adds his beautifully dark visual style to this hallucinatory Christian classic.

Thoughts: Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Yes!

Banksy

On First Principles

Director:
Banksy (Exit Through the Gift Shop)

Starring:
Robin Williams
Cuba Gooding Jr.

Synopsis: In this avant garde take on the early church philosopher Origen's beliefs on the pre-existence of the soul, Banksy brings us a shot for shot remake of What Dreams May Come with Cuba Gooding Jr. and Robin Williams switching roles for no good reason. The film plays on an infinite loop until everyone in theater comes to a full realization of self, dies, or leaves crying with their universe shattered.

Thoughts: This would show at SXSW. I think I would love it.

Wild At Heart

Director:
Steven Brill (The Mighty Ducks)

Starring:
Will Ferrell (Anchorman) as Stereotypical Cubicle Worker
Danny McBride (Pineapple Express) as Stereotypical Slacker

Synopsis: Disillusioned with their lives of relative normality, two friends embark on a week-long adventure in the wilderness of British Columbia. In the course of their adventure they sleep outside, jump off of cliffs into crystal-clear lakes, and fight a bear with nothing but their bare hands and their wits. As their time together comes to a close they begin to recognize the importance of manhood and friendship and make a pact to pretend that this week actually bears any resemblance to reality.

Thoughts: I just realized that this movie exists and it's called Without A Paddle.

Left Behind

Director:
Vic Armstrong (The Adventures of Young Indiana Jones)

Starring:
Nicholas Cage (awesomeness, Drive Angry) as Ray Steele
Chad Michael Murray (One Tree Hill) as Buck Williams
Ashley Tisdale (High School Musical) as Chloe Steele

Synopsis: In this remake of the 2001 Kirk Cameron film, a group of people struggle to survive in the aftermath of a "Rapture" that has removed people of the Christian faith from Earth.

Thoughts: This is real. You're welcome.

What are your thoughts? What movies would you like to see made? What casting/directorial changes should be made to the above? Leave your thoughts in the comments!

Peace,
Ben

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