'Tis the season for fantasy football drafts. Don't let anyone fool you, fantasy football is the most enjoyable thing about football season. If my fantasy team tanks, I'll barely pay attention for the rest of the year. Fantasy sports make it fun to be a fan. Instead of rooting for a team that might be a perennial loser, you get to root for that obscure guy you've never seen play to break a 20 yard touchdown run.
In recent years, the fantasy world has exploded beyond sports. Beyond the mainstays of fantasy football and baseball, we've seen the growth of fantasy basketball and hockey. Even weirder was the temporary existence of fantasy leagues for congress and the music business. My personal favorite is the Grantland Reality TV Fantasy League, where participants draft the cast of reality TV shows and get points when said cast member cries, gets drunk, gets kicked off the show, etc.
This got me to thinking, why not have a fantasy league for all the Christian leaders of the world. Who doesn't want to draft Mark Driscoll and hope that he goes on a Twitter rampage thus guaranteeing them bragging rights over friends and family? I know I do.
I took a first pass at the rules and scoring, but I'd love to hear your input. What other cliches and trite phrases should we reward with points?
Also, I'm trying to come up with a more clever name. The leader at the moment is "The League of Predominately Gentleman", but I'm open to suggestions.
So, without any further ado, let me introduce you to the Fantasy League for Christian Twitter!
Each league will have six (6) teams
Each team will draft three (3) Christian Tweeters
To qualify for the draft a Tweeter must have 20,000 followers and at least ten (10) tweets in the last two weeks.
Scores will be calculated at the end of every week.
1 pt All references to Jesus, God, Christ, Church
3 pts Bible verse tweeted without context
3 pts References to their book
3 pts Tweet constructed as "X is not Y, it is actually Z"
5 pts Tweet directed specifically at one gender
5 pts Tweet that rhymes
5 pts Use of the word "orthodox"
10 pts Tweet about sexual morality
10 pts Use of the phrase "the bride of Christ"
10 pts Use of the word "heretic"
10 pts Retweet of another pastor in the league
20 pts Snarky replies/retweets of people they disagree with
Just for fun I took a look at everybody's favorite Christian Tweeter, Mark Driscoll. How would he fare under this scoring?
Well, Pastor Mark put down a strong 83 pts last week. In addition to his seventeen references to God, Christ and church, he also quoted eight verses sans context, mentioned his upcoming book, composed three "X is not Y, it is Z" tweets, one tweet about sex, and one snarky quote of actress Emma Thompson.
So what do you think? Sound fun?
Ben Howard is an accidental iconoclast and generally curious individual living in Nashville, Tennessee. He is also the editor-in-chief of On Pop Theology and an avid fan of waving at strangers for no reason. You can follow him on Twitter @BenHoward87.
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