by Ben Howard
I'll be honest. I'm nervous.
I rolled into Memphis around 8:30
tonight. It's been a long day and it was a long drive. I may have
taken a nap in a truck stop parking lot on the way. It's raining and
I'm on the 14th (read: 13th) floor of the downtown Holiday
Inn (Select!). There's a beautiful view of...the street and the sign
of the Peabody Hotel.
I'm in Memphis for an event called
Emergence Christianity. It's going to be awesome. I'm excited, but
I'm also nervous.
You see, a lot of the people at this
event wrote books, made podcasts, and preached sermons that have
helped develop my theology, my view of Christianity. They've helped
flavor my writing and build my faith.
Thing is...I've never met them. To me,
right now, their names are symbolic of a set of ideals and not
necessarily a flesh and blood human. Is that kind of view
problematic? Certainly, but like I said at the top, I'm being honest.
I'm sure I'll try to make the conversion from symbol to person, but
that conversion can be troublesome at times. So I'm nervous.
Nor have I met the scores of
like-minded friends who are joining them this weekend in Memphis. I
feel like a little kid who's accidentally stumbled into Progressive
Jesus Summer Camp. I'm shy and I want everyone to like me and I don't
want anyone to think I'm weird. Ahh! So I'm nervous.
Intellectually, I know that this view
of the situation really isn't true. The reality is far more mature
and adult. It'll all be fine and wonderful and everybody will have a
great time. I'm sure there are tons of people here who don't really
know anyone and maybe they're just as nervous as I am. We'll all get
to meet people who are doing awesome things.
But right now, in my hotel room, the
night before we begin, I feel like a nervous kid.
I'm not writing this as some type of
diary entry. No, there is an actual point to this.
When I was about to start my senior
year of college I moved in about a week before classes started. In
the downtime before things got busy I went and had coffee with one of
the older professors. He was wise and kind and we spent a long time
talking. Near the end of the conversation, I leaned in and asked him
a question that had been on my mind, “Does anybody ever figure out
what they're doing? Or is everybody just making it up as they go
along?”
He looked down, smiled and told me that
he looked forward to finally figuring it out someday.
So, what's the point? Nobody figures it
out.
What do I have to say on the eve of
Emergence Christianity? We're all nervous. We're all vulnerable.
That's a given. Now comes the fun part.
Peace,
Ben
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