Nostalgia: The Christmas Addiction

Image via Kris De Curtis

by Charity Erickson

When I was in my early teens, I spent many December evenings lying on the floor with my head beneath our fake Christmas tree, looking up through the papery-plastic branches at the colored lights we’d woven through the ever-ever-evergreen. (My parents have had the same tree for twenty years now; it’s still going strong.) I was trying to recapture a feeling—a memory of an experience that seemed so specific and real—of transcendent wonder that I felt at some singular moment in early childhood, while lying under the Christmas tree.

Now that I know a little more about the inner-workings of nostalgia, I know that the original experience which I was trying to re-create probably never really happened. Nostalgia is funny like that. It is a feeling based on idealized memory; it is a trick of the brain in which past events are recalled as we wish they had occurred. There is a mournful aspect to nostalgia, and I don’t think it’s just because it involves longing for a time that is past and cannot be revisited; I think the gentle sadness that accompanies nostalgia has also to do with a subconscious awareness that our most beautiful memories are of things that never really happened, at least, not the way we remember them.

Image via Royce Bair

It seems to me that nostalgia is never more active than during the holiday season. We have a collective belief that this time of year should be special, sentimental, perfect. It makes sense, then, that our subconscious would be devoted to repairing our lackluster or outright negative holiday memories. That our brains manufacture holiday nostalgia evidences, perhaps, a psychic need to affirm the societal construct – the goodness and specialness of the holidays.

It is fascinating that nostalgia’s richer, more intense German cousin sehnsucht includes “addiction” as part of its meaning; it speaks to a yearning so powerful that it has to be filled with something, even if that something is just a place-holder. And I can’t help but wonder if the ever-inflating consumption and consumerism that takes place during the winter months have less to do with pure greed and gluttony and more to do with satisfying our desperate need to believe that transcendent moments of pure joy and wonder are able to be orchestrated or contrived—and our deep sadness at knowing they are not. It’s the sehnsucht of Christmas that pushes us to buy, to decorate, to stress out about traditions. It’s all about chasing that beautiful moment.

Image via Jack Fussell

The fact that we have to go to other languages to find words to capture the full essence of this longing (the Japanese have a similar concept, called mono no aware) shows how uncomfortable our culture is with simply feeling these feelings. We feel like we need to fix the feelings—we need to indulge our nostalgia, to chase it and change the past—but perhaps when we do this, we miss out on the beauty of the feelings themselves. Longing is so close to hope; and in that wishful desire for the beauty of the holidays to take over and bring us to that transcendent place of wonder and joy—in that simple hope—there is something worth celebrating, even with quiet tears while lying under the Christmas tree. 

Charity Erickson and her husband live and work together in the north woods of Minnesota. Check out her blog for more of her writing and follow her on Twitter @CharityJill.

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The Good Ol' Days

by Andrew Thetford

Doesn’t it suck to live in this modern society, so filled with corruption and sex, violence and greed, enslaved to technology? According to the generations who have gone before us, it should.
 
A couple of months ago I was sitting in an airport terminal when an older gentleman sat down beside me. On the monitor overhead, CNN was keeping us linked to the world outside Concourse B. Then up came a story about three women in the Cleveland area who had been held as captives in a suburban basement for years. 
 
We watched for a moment, and the man gave a huff of bewilderment. “This world has gone mad,” he said. And then he turned to me. “I’m sorry for you, son. Things just aren’t like the good ol’ days.”
 
I began to do as my people-pleasing self does; I agreed with him. Nodding my head, I gave assent to his proposition that things are going to hell in a hand basket. As he continued, he ranted about the homosexual agenda, how kids have no need for social skills anymore, and how “yes, ma’am” and “yes, sir” are going the way of the dodo.
 
Later, as I sat on the plane, I began to ponder these “good ol’ days.” I realized that my whole life, I’ve heard that the past was so much better, that we’re on a downhill slide - that the world of yesteryear would have offered me a better life. But really, these “good ol’ days,” are they just a myth?
 

The “good ol’ days” don’t refer to some golden age where the world was objectively better.  They refer to a subjective evaluation of history that has been “cleaned up” by memory. They are past times remembered with nostalgia. And if that is true, then the “good ol’ days” weren’t really all that “good.” They are nostalgic memories that remind someone of a time when they felt more at ease in the world around them.
 
First, it’s a natural defense mechanism to remember things that are good, and try to repress or forget those things that are painful, or frightening, or cause trauma. This helps us cope, but it gives us a rose-tinted view of the past. 
 
Second, as adolescents become adults, they establish a certain set of social norms, generally commensurate to the norms of the culture at that time. So, as these views of “how the world works” are being formed, let’s say from age 15-25, more or less, this is the way they expect the world to remain. But time advances, and society changes. As those changes move well outside of what someone came to understand as normative, it’s little wonder that the “good ol’ days” seem better than the here and now.
 
Often we may look round and feel that times are getting worse and worse, that things are spinning out of control and nothing can stay this dark momentum. Sometimes we give up on a brighter future, a better tomorrow. We may have known couples who had the desire to create a family and have children, but decide it wouldn’t be right to bring children into a “corrupt world,” a world with such a dangerous future. But is this world so much darker, so much worse than the world of the past?
 
Lets break this down. Here are some of the things people miss about the “good ol’ days” and my response, calling out the bullshit underlying each:
 
Movies didn’t have sex, and Hollywood wasn’t the purveyor of poor morals 

Movies didn’t show as much nudity in old Hollywood, but sex was there. It always pushed the boundaries of censorship; it only appears different to us because those social boundaries have changed. But there’s something even worse: sex was institutionalized, part of the system; most actresses had to sleep their way to the top. Marilyn Monroe only made it into the movies by sleeping with directors until her resume was thick enough (at least, according to Lois Banner’s The Passion and the Paradox). Hollywood has always been sex driven; it’s just that the social norms that govern “sexy” have shifted over time.
 
Homosexuality wasn’t celebrated and marriage was between a man and a woman  

The desire for love, no matter one’s sexual orientation, isn’t a new thing. And it isn’t a bad thing, either. But in the past, gays and lesbians had to hide a part of themselves from the world. It’s hell living a life in secret, denying one’s true self. But now, these men and women are freer to openly be themselves, and be loved for who they are. This change is for good, not ill. 
 
Not only that, but in the past, the “homosexual lifestyle” was misrepresented and misunderstood, in large part because gays and lesbians were forced to keep their orientation hidden. They were painted as sex-crazed, indecent people, each taking multiple lovers and opposed to monogamy. As the walls that blinded heterosexuals to the “lifestyle” of homosexuals have come down, we have seen the deep desire for monogamy and life-long commitment. 
 
American politicians were decent and had strong moral values 

This one is ridiculous and laughable. From Andrew Jackson’s genocide of Native Americans on the Trail of Tears, to Nixon’s Watergate, our government has hosted corruption most all of its existence. Political scandal is nothing new, and the scheming and self-preservation of our politicians goes back to our very founding.
 
Technology had not taken over people’s lives 

Progress is not a bad thing. Enlightenment is not a bad thing. I’ll grant you, some kids are stuck in their phones too much, but this is not the fault of technology. Technology helps us connect to others, to remain in contact with people that would formerly have disappeared from our lives. And as the world becomes a closer, global community, we learn from one another; we become a more enlightened people. Connection to mankind is a positive step forward.
 
Divorces were much more infrequent 

No, divorce is not a good thing. It punishes children and spouses and does damage to the social fabric. Having said that, I continue – before divorce laws were liberalized, abused spouses struggled to escape inhumane relationships. The stigma surrounding divorce kept people trapped in situations that were immoral and unjust. Better to divorce than to stick around with a dangerous, or utterly incompatible person.
 
There are more, but these do nicely to exemplify the arguments made by past generations as to why we live in the suckiest of times.
 
Now lets get real. For those who follow Christ and his teachings here’s what he says:
 
Once, on being asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God would come, Jesus replied, “The coming of the kingdom of God is not something that can be observed, nor will people say, ‘Here it is,’ or ‘There it is,’ because the kingdom of God is in your midst.” – Luke 17:20-21
 
There is now no time in which it is better to live than any other. Because the Kingdom is here; it is now. It is here in our midst; we just have to step into it.
 
Charles Dickens wrote of “the best of times and…the worst of times.” And so it is today. Yes, there are so many things that are wrong with our present time. But even so, there are so many things that are wonderful and good in these days. There will always be corruption, injustice, hunger, poverty, greed… and all the other dark things in this world. But we are not called to lose heart; we are called to do good, and to see good – to set our minds to things which are good, and noble, and just. Set your eyes on the good that surrounds us.
 
We are called to focus on the now, and the tangible Kingdom that is amongst us.
 
Let us begin to take “our day” by the horns and make it good. No longer shall we listen to the oppressive words that tell us we are doomed from birth. We have the ability to shift social norms, to deconstruct poverty, to fight injustice, and do the good that is within our grasp.
 
Rather than fear the thought of bringing children into the world, let it excite us, because if we impart this gift of hope to our children, we can parent a positive, loving, and accepting generation.
 
These are our days, and when some call them doomed we will just smile and brush it off.
 
And when our children and our grandchildren come, we will tell them how great their days shall be. And we will not tell them how they should wish only to have lived back in the “good ol’ days.”

Andrew is a native in Nashville, TN. He is also the editor's cousin. Finally, he would like to remind everyone to Wang Chung tonight. You can follow him on Twitter @andrewthetford.

You can follow On Pop Theology on Twitter @OnPopTheology or like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnPopTheology. 

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Community and Nostalgic Zombies

I will remember you *da da da dada*
Will you remember me?

by Ben Howard

I loved the show Community. Yes, that sentence is in the past tense.

For the duration of its first three seasons, Community was one of my favorite shows on TV. Not only was it a absurdist meta-comedy which commented continuously on the very sitcom conceits it was enacting, but it also showcased a level of heart and depth that very few shows attempt to achieve. A lot of people focus on the jokes, or the concept episodes, but I loved Community because of the way it explored neuroses, and loneliness, and, well, community.

It mined dark areas of life and found comedy, camaraderie and warmth in the midst of real pain.

The show has never had good ratings and has always been on the verge of cancellation, but it was still a surprise when the creator, show runner and creative force behind Community, Dan Harmon, was fired after the third season.  Harmon was notoriously irascible and difficult to deal with. His borderline dysfunctional personality made him a headache for the network, but it also fed the creative energy that made the show what it was.

Harmon was replaced by two veteran TV writers, but when the show came back for a fourth season a few weeks ago, it was evident that they had not been able to recapture the magic of Harmon’s Community.

Zombie Troy

I will continue to watch Zombie Community, but it will be with a tinge of sadness. That’s the way these lightning in a bottle moments go. When you’re in the midst of it, it feels like it will never end.

I don’t want to bemoan the shift from Harmon Community to Zombie Community too much. I mean, it is only a sitcom after all, but I think it highlights something important in the realm of Christian memory.

The happy feelings I have about Harmon’s version of community exist in as memories, while the frustrated feelings I have about Zombie Community are fostered by a sense of nostalgia. I’m frustrated by Zombie Community because it not only reminds me of something I miss, but it makes me want to return to a past that I can no longer access.

Christians face this problem all the time. We remember the greatness of our past and in our hunger for a better present we try to imitate the greatness that has come before us, but that imitation of the past leaves us empty because it calls us to create a world that no longer exists.

I grew up in a faith tradition that constantly referenced the first century church as a model for life. When questions of church practice were asked, one of the first places they’d look would be the practice of the first century church. The problem with this should be self-evident: the tradition in question exists in the 21^st century which is, quite clearly, not the same as the first century.

The resulting community looks like a Zombie First Century Church, which leaves most people frustrated and nostalgic.

Boldly going we're no church has gone before

I understand the appeal of the past. When we look to the past we look to things that we know worked, we remember things we know we enjoyed, we see things that we know were beautiful, but it is impossible to remake the past. It is impossible to recapture the lightning we once had.

Christians are not called to remake the past and tilt at nostalgic windmills of a bygone era; we are called to live into the future. Living into the future requires imagination and creativity. It requires us to wrestle with things we do not understand. It requires us to be vulnerable to questions we have not yet asked.

It requires us to learn to love the past and remember it fondly, to be inspired by the things that came before, but to make something new. It requires us to be more than zombies.

Peace,

Ben 

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Beyond Nostalgia with Midnight in Paris

by Ben Howard

Hey everybody!  Today I'm going to post some quick thoughts about Midnight in Paris from our Movie Discussion Night two weeks ago, but first a little business.

Tonight at 7 pm, we'll be watching 50/50 at St. B's in the Youth Room.  It should be cool, so I hope to see you there.

Also, in addition to writing/posting your own work, if you have any suggestions for something you'd like me to write about, please pass them along.  I'm always looking for ideas and material that might bring up something interesting.  You can email, leave a comment, or contact me on Twitter @BenHoward87.  Thanks!

Without question Woody Allen’s Midnight in Paris bathes in a continual fount of nostalgia, but it ultimately finds its heart by deconstructing the desire to return to a so-called “Golden Era” and finding peace in the present.  The film’s protagonist, Gil, spends much of the movie in a overly-romanticized haze.  When he finds himself transported back to 1920s Paris, the Paris of his dreams, he becomes deeply immersed in the culture, mesmerized by reality of his dream.  In most movies, Gil would come to realize that the 1920s are not as amazing as he dreamed, and would then find happiness in his own time period by overcoming his nostalgia, but I like Allen’s take here.  Instead of Gil becoming disillusioned, he encounters his 1920s proxy in the form of Adriana.  Adriana possesses the same romanticism as Gil, but for a different time period.  From this experience, Gil is able to come to the realization that though the present isn’t perfect, it can still be magical and romantic.  He does not disavow his romantic worldview, he simply embraces a dynamic view of perfection.

I think this has a lot of parallels for Christianity.  Churches and individuals so often search vainly in pursuit of some romanticized idea of perfection and grow more and more disillusioned with the present as they go.  I’ve often taken the cynical tack of saying that the mythologized ideal never really existed and those in search of it should get over their Platonic nostalgia, but I like Woody Allen’s take more.  Perhaps that world did exist, perhaps it was perfect, but why can’t the present be perfect too, but in a different way.  Why does perfection and beauty and transcendence have to look the same then, now and in the future?  This ability to both embrace and move beyond nostalgia allows for a deeply dynamic view of the world which allows for the present to become just as magical as the past if we only free ourselves to embrace it for what it can be.

-Ernest Hemingway.  I don’t think I have the mental capacity to get into what this character says about courage and morality and all sorts of other subjects.  Needless to say if you watch the movie, you will love him.

-Expertise.  Michael Sheen’s character is this movie is lovely caricature of the guy everyone loves to hate.  He plays a know-it-all academic who may be making up some of his expertise to save face.  Definite connections to the church where we all too often come up with answers to questions that rightly deserve an “I don’t know.”

-Two favorite lines, worth some reflection: “The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence.” and “That's what the present is. It's a little unsatisfying because life is unsatisfying.”  Both are perhaps a little more despairing than a Christian worldview, yet both speak to a certain existential crisis within most if not all of us.

Peace,

Ben

You can contact me on Twitter @BenHoward87, via email or just leave a comment.