That's it. I'm moving to Korea...
Somewhere off the coast of South Korea, in a sea cave populated by phosphorescent sea anemone and mythical mer-people, the rapper known to the world as PSY waited three millennia for his calling. Never-sleeping and ever-vigilant, PSY knew that in late-summer 2012 the world would cry out for just one more summer hit; one more summer song to lead us into the cold and dreary fall. So he prepared, dare we say crafted, the perfect song; a song so amazing it would gather 220 million views in a matter of weeks. A song so catchy that it didn't even need to be sung in English for us to love it. Yes. After 3,000 years of entertaining anemones and mer-people, PSY knew that the world was ready. On July 14 2012, PSY released "Gangnam Style" on Youtube. 2 months later, Americans finally discovered it.
One of the beauties of great art is that it's open to numerous interpretations. Koreans also love Jesus (seriously), so it's not too big of a stretch to say that this song is about God in some form or fashion. Unfortunately, PSY did not have enough foresight to write Gangnam Style in English, but thankfully the interwebs allow us to circumvent the Babelic tyrannies of the world, and I was able to find a loose translation. Below, an evangelical interpretation of "Gangam Style":
Warning: The video below has copious amounts of Korean pelvic thrusting, mild explosions, and an intense scene of butt-screaming.
Translation via Franchise Herald
A girl who is warm and humanly during the day
(A line reminiscent of that last chapter of Proverbs that was rammed my throat in Sunday school)
(A line reminiscent of that last chapter of Proverbs that was rammed my throat in Sunday school)
A classy girl who know how to enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee
(It's a little known fact that coffee was this close to becoming the liquid equivalent of a Schedule 1 drug for Christians. During the 16th century, Christians were intent on demonizing the caffeinated drink due to its popularity among Muslims. However, upon tasting a cup, Pope Clement VIII traditionally announced "This devil's drink is so delicious...we should cheat the devil by baptizing it." Consequently making the drink popular among 16th century Christians. PSY knows this. You probably didn't)
A girl whose heart gets hotter when night comes
A girl with that kind of twist
(But not dancing obviously, because that's a sin)
(But not dancing obviously, because that's a sin)
I'm a guy
(Clearly supports Bibically defined gender roles)
A guy who is as warm as you during the day
A guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down
(Sinner)
(Sinner)
A guy whose heart bursts when night comes
That kind of guy
Beautiful, loveable
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
Beautiful, loveable
Yes you, hey, yes you, hey
(Admit it, this is only a couple of words away from being the chorus to a contemporary Christian song)
Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style
Oppa is Gangnam style, Gangnam style
Oppa is Gangnam style
(????)
Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh
(I can imagine that at some point in Adam's 930 years, he said something similar to Eve. I mean they did create the whole human race and everything.)
A girl who looks quiet but plays when she plays
(1 Corinthians 14:34-35)
A girl who puts her hair down when the right time comes
(1 Corinthians 11:15)
A girl who covers herself but is more sexy than a girl who bares it all
(1 Timothy 2:9)
A sensable girl like that
I'm a guy
A guy who seems calm but plays when he plays
(yea I have no idea)
A guy who goes completely crazy when the right time comes
(Charismatic?)
A guy who has bulging ideas rather than muscles
(Redacted)
That kind of guy
That kind of guy
Chorus
On top of the running man is the flying man, baby baby
I'm a man who knows a thing or two
On top of the running man is the flying man, baby baby
I'm a man who knows a thing or two
(My initial reaction is Isaiah 40:31: "They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." But on second inspection this makes absolutley no sense. Kind of like the majority of the major prophets.)
(My initial reaction is Isaiah 40:31: "They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." But on second inspection this makes absolutley no sense. Kind of like the majority of the major prophets.)
You know what I'm saying
(No I don't)
(No I don't)
Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady, Oppa is Gangnam style
Eh- Sexy Lady oh oh oh oh
Jonathan Harrison wants to remind you that Koreans send more missionaries to America then we send to the rest of the world. He's not sure if that's even true, but he loves the fact that they make their boats look like swans and are not afraid to dance in horse barns. He used to write on other blogs, but that was before he had his spiritual awakening. Oh yea. He also tweets: @jonateharrison . First person to find a tweet that gets him fired wins his old Otter Box case when the new one comes in.
Also, you can subscribe to On Pop Theology via RSS feed or email on the top right corner of the main page.
Also, you can subscribe to On Pop Theology via RSS feed or email on the top right corner of the main page.
No comments:
Post a Comment