by Ben Howard
I don’t have kids. Even more, I’m rather ambivalent about
the entire idea of having kids. So you might ask: what am I doing reading, much
less reviewing, a book about pregnancy and fatherhood?
To be honest, I don’t know, but I’m glad I did.
In his memoir-cum-parenting book, PregMANcy, author
Christian Piatt mines his personal relationships as well as his own psyche to
explore issues of fatherhood, parenting, childhood, fear, faith, love, and
marriage all wrapped within the narrative cocoon of his wife’s pregnancy with
the couple’s second child.
When I started the book, I expected the pregnancy to take
center stage. However, I was surprised to find that other than a few particular
areas, the opening chapter and (spoilers!) the birth of the baby, the pregnancy
was used a more of a narrative frame. This framing gives the story a distinct
beginning, middle and end, the book is even divided into trimesters, and
propels the reader through the book on the waves of a narrative.
However, even though this book contains a narrative, and an
interesting one at that, it is not a book about a narrative. This is a book
about relationships and fear and how love overcomes fear.
The central relationship in this book is one of fathers and
sons, in particular Christian and his son Mattias, but also Christian’s
relationship to his own father and his own past.
Piatt represents his relationship with his son as one filled
with tenderness, love, and pride. When his
son asks a direct question, he
typically receives a direct, honest answer even if that answer leads to more
awkward questions. Piatt talks about his son so lovingly, even when talking
about the frustrations and quirks of their relationship, that it only heightens
the level of vulnerability and fear he feels about the concept of fatherhood.
That fear reveals itself when Piatt talks about his own past
struggles and the broken relationship with his own father. The picture we are
given in totality shows the valiant and valorous attempt of a man to maturely confront
his own personal demons while simultaneously raising a son who he wishes to
both protect and shape into a virtuous man.
Each exploration into Piatt’s fears and frustrations,
whether they involve his relationship with his son, his wife, his future
daughter, or any other aspect of his life, feels like a refreshing breath of
honesty and vulnerability. He invites you freely into his story and in the
process allows you to explore your own.
My only critique of Piatt’s work is his occasional need to
tag a moral onto the end of a chapter. At times it felt as if Piatt was
self-consciously aware that his memoir wasn’t “Christian enough” for a
Christian publishing house. As a result, several of the chapters end in a quick
moral sentiment that feels like an unnecessary addition. It’s not that the
points are disconnected from the narrative, simply that they are conveyed in
the narrative flow so well that there is no reason for overt exposition.
I thoroughly enjoyed Piatt’s book and would recommend it to
any expectant father or for that matter expectant mothers. So little is written
authentically exploring both the joys and apprehensions of fatherhood, that it
can’t help but be a welcome voice in the conversation of what it means to have
a child.
However, even more than those expecting children, I would
recommend Piatt’s book to anyone interested in the emotional dynamics of a
family. Basically, if you really like the show Parenthood, but want to
occasionally scatter a laugh amidst your constant sobbing, you’ll enjoy this
book thoroughly.
I can’t wait to see what territory Piatt explores in the
future.
Peace,
Ben
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