Life is Like Baseball (and That Sucks)

by Mitchell Richards

I really don’t care for baseball much. I love sports in general and I stay informed of the headlines with most sports, but when it comes to sitting down and watching an entire baseball game, I can’t say I've done that in years.

Baseball is boring to watch. Not a lot of action spread out over a great deal of time.

Today I realized that life is a lot like baseball, which is probably why I’m not a big fan of either one.
 
Baseball seems like the only job in America where if you succeed about 30% of the time (see batting averages) you’re the best at your job. In my job at the paper, I’d be fired if I only did 30% of an article. Elite baseball players are paid millions of dollars to succeed 30% of the time and often less.  

But then again, baseball is a lot like life. 

I remember playing baseball as a kid and the only thing I enjoyed about it was running the bases and catching pop flies. Unfortunately, to run the bases you had to get on base and that meant batting, which I hated.  

I didn’t really understand as a kid how the odds of getting a hit were not in my favor. I remember crying almost every time I struck out. I just wasn’t used to not being able to succeed at something every time.  

Baseball, like life, is about how you deal with the failures and struggles. Odds to succeed are stacked against you in both things, and I suppose it’s about getting back up to bat and seeing if you’ll strike out again. Baseball is about bouncing back.  

Baseball is a lot like life because the possibility of failure is always there and imminent, and the odds of succeeding are less than the odds of failing. 

I believe that life isn’t as much about succeeding as it is about failing. I don’t think you can truly appreciate success without the inevitability of failure. In fact, I don’t think you can truly have success without failure. Failure is the necessity, the cause and the effect, of desire. I’ve heard the opposite of love isn’t hate, but rather indifference, and accepting failure is the evidence of not being indifferent.  

Baseball is also a lot like life because there is just so much time spent standing around and waiting for things to happen. You never really know when a ball is going to be hit your way and you don’t get to bat every inning, but success is determined by how you respond when these moments come your way. 

In life, we will not always meet these moments and incidents with metaphorical great plays and proverbial spectacular catches, in fact we may fall on our faces, but the beauty of baseball and life is that you’re still in the game. If you drop a pop fly, your job is not done. You still have to make the most of the opportunity that life has dealt you. You still have to throw the ball in. You can still make a play.

I used to cry when I struck out in baseball because I thought I was terrible and striking out was proof of that. From all the years I played baseball I remember two things specifically. First, there was the time when I caught a ball in the outfield that made me flip over, and the other was when I slid into home plate and collided with the catcher, resulting in an injury to my knee that still clicks and cracks on cold days.

 
Like life, we win some and we lose some, but we have stories to tell regardless and an obligation to tell them. Stories of victories come and go and you won’t hit a home run every time you are up to bat. Often times you have tales of pain and hard times, but they are still a part of our story.  

I assume the better we are at going through life, the more opportunities we get to succeed and fail at it. Some days I’m out in right field, looking at the empty seats in the stadium, and other days I’m pitching and my arm is about to fall off, but I have to keep going.  

Life isn’t about hitting a home run every time, it’s about how we deal with it when we don’t. It’s about how we deal with striking out, dropping the ball, and slamming into the catcher. Life is about striking out and batting again when it’s your turn. It’s about dropping the ball and picking it up and still trying to salvage the play. It’s about slamming into the catcher and stomping on the plate because you made it home.



Mitchell writes at mitchellrichards.com. He tweets a lot and has a weird fascination with John Tesh. You can follow him @MitchellWords. He also wrote a book called Definitive Blurs which you can find it here. 

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Ten Terrible Lessons I Learned From Super Mario Brothers

by Ben Howard

The following are 10 terrible but arguably true life lessons that I've gleaned from the classic video game Super Mario Brothers (and a little from its sequels).

1)      The more money you make, the longer you get to live.

Every time you get 100 coins in Super Mario, you literally get another life. That means that the richer you are, the more times you can fail miserably with the comfort of knowing you have the safety net of reincarnation.

2)       Drugs make life easier.

If you take the red mushroom, you become bigger and mildly invincible. The green mushroom gives you an extra life. If you eat the psychedelic glowing flower, you can SHOOT FIREBALLS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. I'm convinced there is a direct correlation between this game and the 1960s.

3)      Whenever you meet something different than you, kill it.

In the original Super Mario Brothers there are only two characters you don't kill. Mario and Princess Peach. Everyone else must die in order for you to live happily ever after.
  
4)      Destroy everything you can; you might make money.

I can't count the number of headaches and near-fractured skulls I've had because I head-butt bricks floating in the sky above me hoping that money falls out of them.
  
5)      Women always need you to save them.

This is not a world for Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Katniss Everdeen. Unless you mean Super Mario Brothers 2, because Peach is awesome in that one. And Mario Kart. Long live Mario Kart.
  
6)      When you’re a star, nothing can hurt you. 

This is my favorite one. When, out of a mixture of luck and skill, you become a flashing, magnificent form of yourself, you can literally run over anything, kill anything, and do whatever you want with no repercussions. Except fly. You can't fly. 

7)      You’ll be rewarded for running through life as fast as you can.

Were you aware that there are "points" in Super Mario Brothers? Well, there are, and you get more points if you finish the level as fast as possible. Because speed makes everything better. Who needs to slow down or take a look around?
  
8)      Nature only exists so you can exploit it.

Or it means to kill you. You can either use nature (mushrooms, flowers, Yoshi, big vines, clouds) or it can kill you (every animal that isn't Yoshi, those spooky flowers coming up out of drainpipes).
  
9)      Turn your animal best friend into your slave so your life will be easier.

I'm firmly opposed to Yoshi's oppression. He was just a baby, right out of the egg, when you took away his free will. Note that every time you accidentally touch something dangerous he runs away in fear. I'm sorry Yoshi, I love you.
  
10)    Occasionally, there are shortcuts so you don’t have to deal with life.

If you've played Super Mario enough, you've learned that there are places in the game where you can skip entire levels or take secret passage ways to the end of whatever level you're currently playing. Basically, you learn that whenever there's something difficult in life, there's always a chance you can avoid it by cheating.

I know this is all ridiculous and I'm not actually claiming that Super Mario Brothers is dangerous or destructive for children. At the same time, it doesn't hurt to be reminded that mundane actions do mean something. Or at least, the constant routine of a mundane action might mean something.

For instance, when I drive to work in the morning in MY car by MYSELF that does something to me. It makes me think that I'm in charge and it makes me think that I'm alone. And I do that day after day after day after day. Do you really think it doesn't affect me? Do you really think it doesn't affect you?

This isn't a call to deconstruct every mundane action in your life, every movie you watch, every meal you eat, or every mile you drive, but maybe we do need to think about it a little. Be mindful about what our lives are doing to us.

One of the reasons I'm really passionate about liturgy and one of the reasons actually going to church is vital to my life is that they both reinforce a lifestyle of someone I want to be, someone who I believe I'm made to be. I want to be in community. I want to be someone who praises. I want to be someone who prays, and confesses, and shares in the crucifixion and resurrection. I want to be someone who embraces redemption. I need that voice in my life. I need to be reminded who I want to be.

Peace,
Ben

When he isn't exploring the naked cynicism of beloved video games, Ben spends his time researching the Madden Curse and its rich mythical back story. He's still angry about what it did to Shaun Alexander. You can follow his bizarre pursuits @BenHoward87.