Expectations and Badger Football

by Josh Kiel

I've touched on this before, but there's a mental process I go through between August and mid-September every year pertaining to my Saturday entertainment prospects. This is my seasonal evaluation of the Wisconsin Badger football beginning with late summer anticipation and continuing with preseason expectations and early season predictions.

I've decided this won't be a particularly good season for Badger football and that I'll need to find other venues for worthwhile entertainment on my fall Saturday's. It's not that I know the Badgers will have a bad season, I just predict they will. There's a set pattern that I've used to arrive at this prediction which I use so often to arrive at so many predictions in life.

Initially there's anticipation. In this instance, the late summer knowledge that fall and all of its wonderful benefits will soon arrive. My desires for the season include the cooler weather, the changing of the leaves, the arrival of the best styles of beer, and the hope that the Wisconsin Badgers can put together a great season that will lead to them playing in a BCS bowl game. I even have the hope that they could buck trends and win such a bowl game.

None of those things had yet arrived in late summer though so all I'm left with is the building anticipation. As the anticipation is building, events come around which develop those anticipations into expectations.

When the first cool days occur and the autumnal selections arrive at my bar of choice my expectations for fall begin developing. When the preseason rankings were released and Wisconsin was ranked 12th in the nation my expectations were built even further. With that reinforcement my expectations became high, Rose Bowl or better, and I began to expect stellar blowout performances in the first few games as the teams they were playing should have been easy pickings.

At this point the hopes are still high since I have no reason not to expect great things from my collegiate team of choice, but reality does not play to the scripts in our minds and my expectations, I was soon to discover, were far too high.

My beloved Badgers opened the season with a narrow win of 26-21 over Northern Iowa. For those not familiar with college football, as a general rule, teams with directional indicatiors in their names tend to be second or third rate and should be an easy victory for a major conference team like Wisconsin.

While this close game was concerning I wasn't totally disheartened as Wisconsin does sometimes take a little while to develop a rhythm in the first game. The following week sounded the death knell for my predictions of success, a 10-7 loss to Oregon State. It is now obvious that the team is not producing results at the level necessary to meet my prior expectations. The third weeks narrow win against Utah State only furthered my conviction that a lackluster season is before us. Now that I'm forced to lower my expectations to coincide with the reality of the results and I can't help but develop an unenthusiastic prediction for the remainder of the season.

I'm predicting that Wisconsin will finish 7-5. I also predict that this may be optimistic even for pessimism. Expectations are either upheld or disappointed depending upon results and as a rational human being I can't help but draw conclusions. Given, only 3 of 12 games have been played and they may win all of the remaining nine. That does not fit with my new lowered expectations. Predictions help us to expect future outcomes and accept them more readily.

I've come to notice I make predictions about most things in life, often pessimistically. There are a myriad number of pending outcomes in my life which are all in one phase or another of this process.

My prediction's for life are often ones of material comfort and social and spiritual dissatisfaction. Indeed they are not the most optimistic, and most would call them pessimistic.

If I'm honest this is because I can control myself absolutely, and thus control my material comfort, while I cannot control how others react to me thus leading to social and spiritual dissatisfaction, so I'm less optimistic.

Control is a primary concern for our entire culture. We crave control and do what we can to maintain it. It's my opinion that my pessimism is merely a form of taking control of the negative. If I mentally prepare myself for the worst anything can offer then I will be given a reprieve from the fallen world that we find ourselves in.

Perhaps pessimism is a way of deceiving ourselves, if we expect the terrible and only the mildly displeasing happens it may seem to be comparatively good in the end. The level of pessimism is also comparative to the stakes involved. If I'm overly optimistic about the prospects of Wisconsin football, I'll be mildly disappointed. On the other hand, If I'm overly optimistic about the course my life will take I may end up emotionally crushed at many points during the duration of it. This is the security of pessimism.

The college football season is roughly a quarter of the way in, but I've already established my expectations, similarly my life is about a third complete, but I have firmly held expectations about it as well. For me life is an endless cycle of anticipation, expectation, and adjusting expectation into prediction once enough data has been gathered. For me it is a way to maintain comfort and control. Whether the predictions are good or bad I am prepared for what I consider to be the most probable outcome of events and in being prepared I can accept them more easily.

Editor's note: I can understand the frustration Josh voices in this essay, and I think it's a feeling a lot of us experience. In the face of failure, pain, sadness, or disappointment, often occurring in situations that are beyond our control, we try to (re)claim control of our lives and assert power over our own destiny. However, I think the story of the Christian faith is one that disabuses us of this notion. I think we learn from the Christian story that the only proper use of control or power is to surrender it. Perhaps this will lead to happiness, or perhaps it will lead to more pain, I can't promise anything, but I think it leads to peace.

Josh and I would both love to hear any feedback you have or even just a quick note to say that something resonated with you.

Peace,

Ben

For updates on On Pop Theology, you can subscribe to us via the RSS and email feeds on the main page (right side of the screen near the top), or you can follow me on Twitter @BenHoward87.

National Sabbath

by Josh Kiel

Alas, Labor Day is upon us and as is befitting the occasion I have absolutely nothing planned. I've asked amongst my friends and, by and large, they have nothing planned either. 

No chores, no errands, nothing planned but a day of rest from life's troubles. Which is wonderful really since on the average weekend I try to have events and outings planned throughout, as well as whatever errands I may need to run. 

This third day off work is regarded by many as a "day of rest" (that's Wikipedia talking so you know it's legit). In essence it is our National Sabbath. The day we have set aside in recognition of the labor we perform the other 364.25 days of the year. 

I especially appreciate it since I so rarely observe anything closely resembling a Sabbath in my own life, which is a shame because I truly appreciate the concept. One out of every six weekends I am on call and can be contacted by work at a moments notice, and so many of the remaining weekends are negated by mundane activities that they can rarely be qualified as "restful".

I expect it is the case for many of us that we don't actually get a true day of rest except for a  few days a year. We stay so busy in our modern lives that days without plans, where moments of reflection are allowed, come around surprisingly rarely, at least that's the case for me. 

Indeed, if I start to over think the concept of Labor Day it could irritate me and lead me to a rant about how this seems like a way in which government may end up subverting religion by replacing the concept of a religious commandment with a proxy version in the form of a national holiday. That would only irritate me though so I'll spare myself (as well as you dear reader). 

Rather, I simply suggest that you make of this day a restful and peaceful experience and, if you are so inclined, reflect upon the day that you've been given and enjoy it. Perhaps you will find, like I suspect I may, that we could all use more dedicated days of rest and realize that we were commanded to observe one for a reason.

On Selling Beer and Jesus

by Josh Kiel

This Thursday the college football season will be upon us. Upon its commencement, I will rejoice and be glad because I am a college football junkie. I can't get enough of it and hence my television viewing is going to increase exponentially. As with any televised sporting event this means my mind is going to be bombarded with a slew of commercials telling me exactly which beer will make my life the most amazing. This is convenient because I love beer, so Here We Go.

There will naturally be an onslaught of the "Lite" varieties of cheap tasteless crappy beers which claim that I am committing an atrocity against everything sacred if I do not drink their beers while grilling on a Saturday. Others will suggest that wherever their beer goes a party with beautiful people a plenty will follow. Some will even suggest that my choosing another beer as opposed to their brand will require me to relinquish my "man card" because drinking Domestic Swill Lite B over Domestic Swill Lite A is supposedly unmanly. 

A step above those beers, though not by much, are the imports that suggest that their beers are more sophisticated and will enable me to be a jack-of-all trades leading a woman on a crazy high pace date whilst destroying property, and that no one will care because of how cool they know I am by the green bottle in my hand {Heineken}. Or I can be a touch more like the Most Interesting(/Pretentious) Man in the World. Or, with the twist of a bottle cap, I can convince myself that my hectic loud surroundings throughout the rest of the week can be transformed into a serene beach with waves lapping upon the sand and a hot woman in a bikini lounging next to me. 

If the concept was not so ridiculous people could express outrage that they should notify the consumer "Actual results may vary". They don't need to though because they know that we know that those results won't actually happen. We are merely being reminded of the variety of different beers available for our choosing and are whimsically being prodded to buy one brand over the other. 

Since we don't actually expect those results there's little harm in the ridiculousness of the commercials. Our goal when drinking a beer is to relax and enjoy the flavor of the beer (if possible with the brands alluded to above) so we don't expect it to solve our life's problems, it's not like their marketing Christianity or something.

Is how we market Christianity all that different though? Are there any of us who have not heard it at least alluded to that Christianity is a simple and straightforward solution to all of life's problems. Follow Jesus and he will lead you to the promised land of a wife, 2.6 kids, a dog, and a house in the suburbs. Follow Jesus and we have a four word mantra to walk you through all possible decisions you may ever face. Follow Jesus and all of your troubles will disappear because the God of the universe will then be on your side and what could possibly go wrong after that. 

If only it were so simple.

What Would Jesus Do? It's simple and it conveys a point just like Here We Go, Stay Thirsty, or Life's a Beach, but it's a coverall and would rarely satisfy us in the ways we would like to be. WWJD is a difficult proposal if you find out that someone is embezzling money to pay for their children's cancer treatment. The fact that Jesus would just miracle that kid back to full health doesn't help me in making a moral judgment in how to evaluate such a situation. 

In reality, the call would be that I should assist that person in caring for their child and paying for his treatment. This could be poorly received because that would set back my savings for the house in the suburbs that I'll get with my Christian wife and 2.6 kids which, as I was raised to understand, is the standard Christian life path. 

The disconnect here is more profound and more disappointing than the resentment I may feel when after drinking a few beers I am still not the most interesting man in the world and a party or beach has not overtaken my present surroundings. The fact is that if I view Christianity as a path to something I will be left unfulfilled.

In keeping with my beer laden analogy perhaps we should view Christianity as a craft beer. The beers which have no advertising because their quality is inherent when consumed and experienced. Those that have no presuppositions that they may lead you to additional enjoyments because they are sufficiently enjoyable in and of themselves. 

I guess my primary point of all this is whether we view Christianity as a means to an end or the end itself. Whether at the end of the day our identities as Christians fulfill us regardless of where it may lead us or what it may cost us because our fulfillment is in that identity and not in the supplemental benefits that our culture has come to associate with it.

The Upside of the Zombie Apocalypse

by Josh Kiel

Last night upon coming home, I underwent my regular pre-sleep routine. I got into bed and woke up this morning exactly as I had expected. I had the same thoughts that I have every Sunday night. I was subconsciously preparing myself for Monday morning and the start of another work week. I spent some time running a mental checklist of all the issues that were going on and who I would need to call, the bills I had to pay, the errands and domestic tasks I needed to perform. 

It was routine, bland, unexciting, and boring; the essence of the mundane. Tomorrow would be there and I had to plan for it, there was no reason to expect that it wouldn't be.

Believe me, it is as boring writing about my nighttime routine as it is reading about it, so let's switch it up a little. Instead let's imagine that same scenario with the one minor change. Imagine that I had spent my entire day eluding hordes of zombies and was now holed up in my apartment with the possibility of 50 or 500 busting down the door to devour my delicious person.  

I know what you're thinking: now we're talking. One of the given plot points in many post-apocalyptic movies is this radical shift of priorities that people would need to deal with. In this specific situation, tomorrow is no longer a given, even living another hour is not a given. The needs of everyone would be limited to the very day that we are living. 

This could be demonstrated through any post-apocalyptic scenario, but I chose zombies for two reasons: 1) You write what you know and 2) Living to see tomorrow is the implicit goal of the characters in zombie films such as the beloved Shaun of the Dead. 

In that film the characters lives are interrupted when they encounter the reanimated dead. This is particularly demonstrated in two scenes in which Shaun makes a nearly identical trip to the local market oblivious to the differences in his environment pre and post zombies. Throughout his journey on both days he is oblivious to the world around him and caught up in his own thoughts. It takes his eventual realization of the zombie apocalypse to motivate him to get a plan together to face just one day and dismiss, for the most part, his worries about the future. 

Instantaneously, his priorities shift to where he is no longer worried about anything except surviving through the night until morning. Shaun's long term concerns and anxieties disappear because his immediate situation is dire enough to prevent any worry about the future.

In a weird way, I desire the sort of freedom that this scenario would represent. In the midst of the zombie apocalypse all of my aforementioned worries are moot. My concerns are limited to not becoming dinner for a flesh-hungry corpse, it's a simple goal with clearly defined success or failure.  

In that scenario I have no worries about whether I'm contributing enough to my 401k, political concerns, whether I'm making enough progress towards my end of year work goals, or any other of the dozens of long term goals that continually crop up in my mind and cause me to worry through the normal course of any given day. 

In essence the dead rising would give me the freedom to worry only about today. To live my life with reaching tomorrow as a goal instead of a given.
It is no longer an accomplishment to live until tomorrow. We expect it, we plan for it, we worry about it, and at times it is to our own detriment. We've all heard warnings about the dozens or hundreds of ways that we could die every day, but we still accept blindly that tomorrow will be there for us and we need to prepare for it. 

Did you get a sunburn lately, better watch out for skin cancer. Driving a car today? Wear your seatbelt and hope you don't encounter a drunk/drowsy/distracted driver. Gunmen, terrorists, West Nile, AIDS, and dozens of other "threats" that we're made aware of by the media are lurking and threatening to take away our precious lives. With all of the ways that we know we could die I'm surprised we don't wake up in the morning half in-awe as we exclaim, "YES, I MADE IT!!".

If the constant reminder of my own mortality doesn't make me enjoy each day as it comes would it really take the dead rising from the grave to make me stop worrying about tomorrow and just face today? Yeah, I suppose it would.  

But that's already happened. Christ directed us to not worry about what tomorrow may bring because each day has enough of its own trouble. We need only pray that we be given our daily bread because anything beyond that is speculation on our part. 

This is my interpretation, but I see that as a call to view tomorrow not as a burden, but as a goal. That we can rejoice in every day we're given and face them one at a time. Technically yes, it took someone rising from the grave for me to see that and so much more. Now that it's done though I need only oblige each day as it comes.

Sharing Secrets

by Josh Kiel

In the course of life we accumulate a set of experiences that shape the way we interpret our lives. When interacting with each other we use these experiences to relate.  We build understanding through our shared relationships. At the same time, there are some things that we keep entirely to ourselves. Secrets, those experiences which we’d rather not share and that we’d rather not have others know we’ve experienced at all. 

I’m of the opinion that we can’t ever fully understand another human being. Since we’re all unique individuals it is absurdly hard to come close to a full understanding of each other. This often leads to a sense of loneliness stemming from the knowledge that we neither can understand another or be fully understood. If that statement depresses you, I’ve included a picture of a puppy.

Part of my weekly routine includes a visit to the PostSecret website which offers the opportunity to momentarily, but profoundly bridge that gap of understanding between myself and individuals I have never and will never meet. 

For those of you who are unfamiliar with PostSecret, it’s essentially a community art project where people decorate and mail a postcard containing one of their secrets to organizer Frank Warren of Maryland who puts them up on his site for the entire world to see and consume. Suffice to say, I'm a fan. 

On this one site I can view other peoples interpretations of life events they have not been comfortable sharing with those closest to them and it gives me a slight approximation to the emotional experience that they must have felt. The most powerful moments come when I read secrets that I identify with so strongly that I might as well have written them. In essence, they are my secrets experienced in some form or manner by another human being. Whether the subject matter is funny or sad, shallow or profound, there is something powerful in seeing someones innermost thoughts put on display after being hidden from all others.

For many people, myself included, there is a hazy line in differentiating whether we hide our secrets or whether our secrets hide us. Often in order for me to share a secret, a real secret, I need to have a half dozen beers in my system and even then the sharing is very calculated. 

To so many of us our secrets are sacred. They are the parts of our lives that we'd rather not have define us, but do anyways. From my own experience they are laden with regret and embarrassment that I expect would elicit a negative reaction from the people that I know. Basically secrets create a prison made out of the expected reactions of others, we bind ourselves in based on our expectation of their judgment.

When a secret is finally shared it can be liberating. From my own experience what I seek in sharing secrets is two-fold: first, to no longer carry that secret by myself and second, validation that I am not alone as a flawed human being. PostSecret allows me the second half of that experience with no risk to myself. 

In viewing a few dozen secrets of strangers each week I inevitably find a few secrets to which I fundamentally identify. In that moment there is an understanding and connection with another human being that I cannot deny. I know that I am not only validated, but so are they and if that particular secret is validated then there's the probability that my other secrets are too. 

At the end of the day it serves to quell my angst that in experience as a human being trying to find my way through this world I have not made myself irredeemably flawed to the point that another person could not understand me.


When I'm done looking through the secrets on the site for a given week I often feel relief. It serves as an exercise in empathy both towards myself and towards others which reminds me that while we don't always understand each other completely, there are still people out there who can understand and identify with my specific emotions and experiences that we process. 

This helps me feel more connected not only to anonymous people on the internet, but also to the people in my own life who probably have the same secrets as me, but try and hide them as much as I hide mine. It also makes me wonder how well we could understand each other if we'd just be honest with each other. Now if only I were artistic enough to create a handmade postcard...

What Happens When You Go to Eleven

by Josh Kiel

In my life there have occasionally been Sunday nights where, after a few beers, I turn on the television for some cheap, in the intellectually qualitative sense of the word, entertainment. Every so often I am treated to the MSNBC/Dateline series To Catch a Predator. Such was the case this past Sunday. For those of you who may not know this program, it is presented as an "investigation" exposing men who via the internet attempt to arrange sexual liaisons with underage persons. The host of the show then confronts the men when they show up at a house for that purpose.

The core of the show is the logical progression of a genre which it doesn't aspire to be: trashy reality television. My more cynical imagination of the show's origins involve an MSNBC producer flipping through his television channels one night and coming across Punk'd whereupon, in the spirit of Nigel Tufnel, he began wondering if that type of show can, "go to eleven."

There has been a progression in television from Candid Camera to Punk'd to To Catch a Predator which reflects on our definition of entertainment. The simple pranks of old that were so in vogue in the era of laugh tracks seem dull and boring to the generation that grew up with Worlds Wildest Police Chases and When Animals Attack. Without some level of shock value we the viewers raised on COPS and Fear Factor easily become bored and seek our thrills elsewhere. The fact is that in making these shows the producers fulfill our desires, but only momentarily until, like a drug, we want something stronger, something more real.

In that spirit we turn to programs like To Catch a Predator to seek out entertainment which has both shock value and lasting real life consequences. In reality, the collateral damage of the network's quest for ratings by providing the shock value we seek is that we witness the actual destruction of people's actual lives.

These are the stakes that the show's subjects face when they walk into the house. The typical episode includes some of the saddest displays of self-justification and illogical explanations that you may ever see. Once they encounter the show's host their awareness of their own guilt often becomes transparently obvious as they try to make a defense or reasoning for their presence.

Recently I watched an episode with some of my friends during which point one of them wondered, "Why don't they just shut up and get a lawyer?" If the men being confronted on the show had an informed advocate available during these encounters I doubt the show would ever have done so well.

The show's host in these interactions is given all of the materials to prepare for the encounter and has planned out the most condemning parts of the online conversations to confront the subject with upon their arrival. In essence the host is transformed into a quasi-omniscient accuser and serves as the embodiment of public opinion; a judge standing before them and damning them for their depravity.

In the face of this the subject will try to defend themselves in a manner that painfully demonstrates that they are completely incapable of doing so. Their chain of excuses and pathetic explanations ends with them being informed that their encounter is intended for display on national television, their shame for all the world to see. This isn't the end of their ordeal though because once they leave the house they are arrested, occasionally tasered, and interrogated by the police.

I find it easy to sit on the couch and watch all of this unfold with a detached feeling of superiority. At times I find myself conflicted about why we find this show entertaining. There haven't been any new "investigations" made by MSNBC in this series since 2007, but it is still a go to filler for the network when they need something to fill a time slot.

I've asked a few people I know why they believe the show is entertaining and the typical answer I get is that they're seeing justice done. This always strikes me as odd because there is the distinct possibility that if not for the show being produced some of the criminals featured may never have done anything criminally wrong in the first place. Stated another way, this may be a skewed reality according to the laws of supply and demand.

The show suggests that every one of the men would have ended up having sex with a child if they weren't actually talking to decoys. The hopeful idealist in me would think that the quantity of pre-teens spending time in internet chat rooms looking for sex does not meet the apparent abundance provided by the shows decoys. This would lead to a scenario where men exist who would want to have sex with children who simply haven't because of a lack of supply of willing victims; sad and pathetic yes, criminal no. To insert another obligatory pop culture reference, are these people being treated like the criminals in Minority Report, punished because of something they haven't done, but are expected to do?  Is that justice?

Being honest with myself and casting my concern for social airs of decency aside, the part of the show that I find appealing is the Schadenfreude involved. Maybe it's just my German heritage, but there is something entertaining about seeing these people try to defend themselves and failing completely. I realize that I'm not alone on that. If Schadenfreude wasn't entertaining then American Idol wouldn't have survived past the first few episodes. Who would want to listen to a bunch of terrible singers for an hour if we weren't rewarded with their utter decimation and humiliation delivered in a smarmy British accent.

I am of the opinion that reality television is one of the worst aspects of society today (Hello Teen Mom!). I view many of these shows as the modern incarnation of the Roman gladiatorial games. We're too refined to actually watch people die (maybe), but we will sit down and watch their hopes and egos destroyed for some mindless entertainment. Ruining peoples lives just seems to be the next level up from that.  I'm just hoping 2017 comes and goes without The Running Man becoming a television sensation.  (Google it kids, it's like The Hunger Games, but with Arnold Schwarzenegger).

Imaginary Jesus

Hello everybody!  Today we have a guest post from Josh Kiel.  It's really good, so I hope you all enjoy it as much as I did.

Peace,

Ben

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by Josh Kiel

I'll just say it, I think South Park is a great TV show.  For all of its blatant offensiveness and scatological humor it does have moments of deep insight where it critiques our society and our culture.  This post is about one of these moments, though possibly an unintentional one.

A few years ago, the creators of South Park made a trilogy of episodes titled “Imaginationland.” As you can assume, Imaginationland is an imaginary place where all the characters of human imagination live.  The plot of this trilogy involves Imaginationland being attacked by Al Qaeda terrorists who, in an attempt to “make our imaginations run wild,” end up unleashing the bad characters of Imaginationland upon the good. The story climaxes in a battle between good and evil, with one character from the real world, Butters spurring the good characters onto victory by imagining weapons for them.

There are a variety of points that this episode attempts to make regarding fear, terrorism, the power of our minds to control us and so on, but there is another interesting statement that the creators may or may not have intentionally made. It just so happens that the creators of South Park include Jesus as one of the imaginary characters in Imaginationland.  At first, I saw this as outright blasphemy, but then, late in the episode there comes one very brief moment that stuck out in my mind and gave me pause.  In this scene, the real person (Butters) is imagining reinforcements and enhancements for the imaginary characters in order to turn the tide of the battle. As part of the reinforcements Butters imagines Jesus with an M-60 machine gun.  It is in that moment that I think the creators of South Park, perhaps unintentionally, justified Jesus presence in Imaginationland.  Throughout history and even today there have been calls to fight a "Christian War" in the name of Jesus  I can only believe that these calls come under the banner of an Imaginary Jesus.

From observing the culture of Christianity today I see multiple instances of an Imaginary Jesus expressed in a variety of ways.  Some are easy to spot. Imaginary Jesus is the War Jesus, the Prosperity Jesus or the Santa Jesus, or the It's Okay to Hate the Gays/Muslims/Atheists Jesus.  There are more subtle ones as well such as the Holier Than Thou Jesus or the Look Out for Number One Jesus (on whose side I occasionally err), or the Self-Loathing, You Must Doubt Your Redemption Jesus.  I see all of these versions of an Imaginary Jesus as efforts by us to try and change who Jesus is as opposed to changing ourselves when we fail to live up to who we're called to be. 

Christ came to Earth for the salvation of all mankind through his death and resurrection.  To be followers of the one who came not to judge the world, but to save it and who also instructs us to love God with all our hearts and love our neighbors as ourselves is a call to display these characteristics in spite of being broken people in a broken world.  I know that when I fail to exhibit these traits there is a desire to justify my failure in some way, to convince myself of my own righteousness instead of my need for forgiveness.  I think this is where a lot of our Imaginary Jesus depictions come from.  In the end so many versions of Jesus boil down to an inner conflict in which we try to justify our relationships with the people around us and the person we have been called to be.  We try to make Christ more like ourselves instead of striving to make ourselves more like Christ.  When we think of Jesus do we see the Incarnation of Freedom and Redemption or the Lord of Oppression and Hate? Do we see him healing people or holding a machine gun?

A Grace Deferred

Today a guest post from Josh Kiel about the response to grace in Les Miserables.  And a reminder that if you want to write a post on whatever topic interests you, feel free.  I want this to be an open community for sharing and working things out together.  Enjoy!

Peace,

Ben

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 by Josh Kiel

Grace is a gift that is neither earned nor expected.  When it’s given to us it seems incomprehensible and rightfully so since absolute preemptive forgiveness is an illogical response to transgression.  We have all received grace but to what extent do we actually accept and embrace it?  In Les Miserables (1998 movie) the characters of Jean Valjean and Inspector Javert demonstrate two opposing responses to grace, those of accepting and rejecting that gift

When Valjean is set free at the word of the Bishop in the beginning of the film he is at first unable to understand the act responding, "Why are you doing this?".  After the Bishop explains his action and we see the development of Valjean as a new man he offers an explanation of his understanding of grace to Fantine.  Valjean says that as a part of Gods creation, "In His eyes, you have never been anything but an innocent".  Valjean and the Bishop demonstrate the ideals of how grace should be accepted and expressed in return. 

Ideals are not often met however and for an opposing response we have Inspector Javert.  In one instance when he is offered grace and commanded to forgive himself by The Mayor (Valjean) he responds with, "You must punish me or my life will have been meaningless".  His view is reiterated at the end when he states, "it's a pity the rules don't allow me to be merciful, I've tried to live my life without breaking a single rule".  Javert eventually gives into a single expression of grace by letting Valjean go, but is unable to extend that grace to himself for breaking the rules and commits suicide.

How we accept grace influences how we respond to it.  Growing up, I had the mistaken understanding that to be a Christian meant a continual effort to live a perfect life and that every time I would fail to live up to that standard meant that I'd failed to be a Christian.  In essence I was Javert.  Living as a slave to the rules and subject to the same despair and self-inflicted mental anguish as if actually receiving punishment.  Since I couldn't correctly comprehend grace for myself I didn't correctly apply it to the people around me.  I would in my mind "forgive" them for a particular transgression, but still resent them as the kind of person who would do the thing I had “forgiven” them for.  It was not until I turned my back on God and then returned that I fully understood that grace was not something that I could earn nor was it something that I needed to worry about questioning, but simply something I needed to accept.

As Christians we are called to be conduits of God’s grace and love. In accepting that grace for ourselves we are told to then extend it to others.  We are called to the opposite of Javert’s dilemma.  Since we have been shown mercy we should show mercy in return.  Javert was conflicted because of his role as an instrument of the law.  He was not allowed to be merciful. As Christians we are instruments of grace and therefore have no choice, but to have mercy.  Living in the mindset of that reality we can move towards expressing grace as the ideal demonstrated by the Bishop and Jean Valjean.

We can show grace to others without expecting it in return, but among Christians there exists the potential for an additional level of the freedom given by grace.  Among Christians there can be the anticipation of grace between each other that could allow us to be transparent and open with each other.  In this anticipation we should be free to be open and honest with each other so that conflict would always be short lived among the communities we form and that grace can be an ever present reality of our interactions.