The American-Christian Confusion: The Tale of Terry Jones and His Magnificent Handlebar Mustache

by Ian McLoud

Okay, you absolutely have got to read this: “Pastor Terry Jones Arrested Before He Could Burn Qurans.”

That guy is crazy right? And by “that guy,” in case you didn’t read it, I mean Terry Jones, everyone’s favorite Muslim-hating, Quran-burning, Christian pastor. He decided, along with his associate pastor, to gather up about 3,000 Qurans, soak them in kerosene, load them up in a giant barbeque grill and tow said grill to a park in order to burn them. This would, in his mind, best commemorate those souls who were killed on September 11, 2001. Unfortunately for him he was arrested because, among many other things, he was transporting fuel illegally. Who even knew that was a law? I see you Polk County Sheriff deputies; keep up the good work.

Now, I’ve not talked with Terry, but I’m certain he’s upset. And I’m certain he feels that his rights as a US citizen, mainly those of freedom of speech and self-expression, are being attacked. You may remember that this is not the first time this guy has tried to burn Qurans. To my knowledge he’s only been successful once, which must be so frustrating. I mean, you work on this grand elaborate plan and every time you get so close, so very close, to executing that plan someone comes along and tells you to stop. Talk about the man keeping you down.

And this time, not only could he not burn his Qurans, he was arrested for some joke charge like transporting fuel illegally and not following open-carry laws. Talk about not respecting your rights. And, icing on the cake, his assistant pastor gets in trouble for not having the right registration for his giant grill-trailer. What is this, communist Russia?! So you can see why Terry might be upset. The constitution says he has a right to burn all the Qurans he wants to, but every time he gets close someone gets in the way! They’re just books. What’s the big deal?

I don’t like this story. I’d almost say I hate it, but that’s not quite accurate. I’m disappointed by this story, but not because Terry Jones is having his rights violated. I’m disappointed because some out there will only see that a Christian has made the news again for being flagrantly provocative. And, on the other hand, I’m disappointed that several Christians are probably upset right now that he was “persecuted,” that he wasn’t allowed to exercise his right to freedom of speech and self-expression. And that is my problem, really. Our knee-jerk appeal to our rights as US citizens.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful for the Bill of Rights; I’m grateful to be living in a country where, for the most part, people are allowed to live as they wish inside the bounds of the law. But I don’t like the mindset that often permeates Christian thought in the US, were our first instinct is to define ourselves first as American citizens, rather than holding that our identity comes from Christ. We cling to our rights, but we cling to the wrong rights. And I say we because I have done this, I do this, and I will probably continue to on some level or another. All too often Christians in the US feel like we have to stand up for our rights. That we have to use our rights to force some opinion on others because we can and because it’s what God would want. But what if we’re wrong?

Paul talks about just this sort of thing in 1 Corinthians 9:1-19, especially 12-19. He has a right to marry. He has a right to expect the churches in Corinth to support him, since he worked among them to bring the Gospel. But he doesn’t make use of those rights. Rather, Paul forgoes them so that “no obstacle may be placed in the way of the Gospel.” Let’s make sure we understand what’s being said here. Terry Jones probably feels like his rights have been taken from him because he can’t burn some books. Paul is telling us his rights too have been repealed, there’s no question about that, but that he has repealed them himself. He has willingly forsworn what he was entitled to, for the sake of the kingdom.

Stop and think about that for a moment. Would you give up your right to seek a spouse? Would you go to your employer and say, “Hey I’ll work for free if it means I can preach the Gospel once a week at lunch?” What rights are we willing to just give away so as to not put an obstacle in front of the Gospel. Because that’s our call; to seek first and foremost God’s kingdom, long before our political rights enter the equation.

And this is why I don’t like this story about Terry Jones. I don’t like the idea that underlies it. I’m sure most Christians would agree that what Terry Jones was trying to do is wrong. But I’m not so sure that most Christians would agree that we needn’t always use all the rights that the constitution grants us.

But that’s exactly what Paul is getting at and that’s exactly what being a Christian is about: giving up our rights so that the ultimate goal of spreading the Gospel can be achieved. You know, the whole turning the other cheek and all that. What the issue really comes down to is: how do we define ourselves? Are we, to quote Lee Camp, American Christians or Christian Americans? The answer to that question, and the life that it entails, may just undo a lot of the Terry Jonesing in the world. 

Ian is the Youth and Family Minister at the Lakehoma Church of Christ in Mustang, Oklahoma. You can follow him on Twitter @KindaScottish.

You can follow On Pop Theology on Twitter @OnPopTheology or like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnPopTheology.
 
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The Meaning of Loyalty (or, Why My Dad Became a Braves Fan)

by Ian McLoud

I grew up in Saginaw, Texas, a town whose only claim to something better than obscurity is its massive grain elevators - some of the biggest ever built, because this is Texas after all, and even small towns here need the biggest something to prove the Texas bravado. Anyway. I grew up in Texas.

Two sports existed in our household: football and baseball.  Nothing else counted.  Basketball is played by a bunch of “wannabe-gangster-thug-rappers,” or so my dad said. Hockey is just plain boring, unless Coach Bombay is there telling us all about the triple-deke, the flying V and quacking.

My dad, a man I admire more and more as I get older, was a fan of the Dallas Cowboys and the Texas Rangers. We never went to Cowboys games, but I remember the Ballpark at Arlington, in all its beautiful, green, majestic glory. I, however, wasn’t a Cowboys fan, or a Rangers fan. 

I was a Green Bay Packers fan and an Atlanta Braves fan. The Braves make sense; I spent summers in Georgia with my grandparents and when Grandpa went to bed, Grandma and I would stay up late and watch the Braves. Grandma would scream and scream at Chipper, Glavine, Maddux and Smoltz. Mostly Chipper, and often so loud I was afraid Grandpa would wake up and tell us to go to bed. I liked Green Bay because I was weird and also, one time they won a Super Bowl while I happened to be watching.

But my dad was a die-hard fan of Texas teams. Sundays in the fall meant the Cowboys were on. Summers meant talking about Rangers baseball.

So it struck me as really odd when, after a move to Georgia, my dad began rooting for the Falcons and the Braves. I understood the Braves because they’re awesome, but at the time, the Falcons were even worse than the Cowboys. I asked dad what was up with this sudden change of heart; he said something along the lines of, “We live in Georgia now,” and I probably made some crack about him needing to learn the meaning of loyalty.

As I get older though, I view that response differently. My dad, a former minister, was doing something that I now realize had an importance all its own: he was trying to relate to his new neighbors, new friends and a new church community. He was, to quote Paul, “becoming all things to all people.”  That may sound weird; all he did was change his allegiance to sports teams.

Big deal, who cares? But looking back, I can see how the people he met cared. He could converse with them about a subject that they both knew something about. No one in Georgia cared about the Rangers, or the Packers, or the majestic grain elevators of Saginaw, Texas. But they did care about the Falcons and most definitely the Braves.

My dad had this whole idea of understanding a new culture and building relationships that bridged the gap. He could relate to people in this new environment on a level that I simply couldn’t because I was stubbornly sticking to my Brett Favre (pre-Jets) loving ways. He could connect and build relationships whereas I was still an outsider. And from him, I learned the importance of culture and relationship building before it became the trend du jour. (Hey! My dad’s a Christian Hipster!)

He was acting out the all things to all people that Paul was talking about. And while I don’t think Paul was envisioning sports fandom exactly, still, it works. Especially in a society where our sports affiliation is seen as a key to our identity.

So yeah, my dad wasn’t loyal to the Cowboys or the Rangers. He’s not even really loyal to the Falcons or the Braves. But he’s loyal to God and to people. And sometimes, that means giving up things we desire in the pursuit of connecting with others. 

Ian is the Youth and Family Minister at the Lakehoma Church of Christ in Mustang, Oklahoma. You can follow him on Twitter @KindaScottish.

You can follow On Pop Theology on Twitter @OnPopTheology or like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnPopTheology.
 
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Amen for Happy Endings

by Ben Howard

Over the last two years, I've become a big fan of the ABC sitcom Happy Endings. The basic aspects of the show are a lot like Friends or something else of that ilk. Its a comedy based around six people in their late twenties living in a major American city (Chicago) and trying to make their way through this wacky thing we call life. 

It seems like a simple, and to be fair, rather vanilla premise, but the show has grown into one of the funnier half hours on TV due to the witty banter and the general likability of the cast. This is the kind of show where you just like hanging out with the people for thirty minutes at a time.

With all that said, this does not seem like a show that is trying to make profound statements about life, or society, or justice, or identity, but when I reflect on the show a little more seriously, when I look at the ideas behind the jokes, this show has some subtle yet profound messages.

I especially like the way the show deals with the relationship of Brad and Jane, an interracial couple played by Damon Wayans Jr. and Eliza Coupe, and the sexual orientation of Max played by Adam Pally.


Regarding Brad and Jane, the show does not ignore the issue of race because it is a real issue and in fact bases at least one episode on Brad's racial identity ("Blax, Snake, Home").  However, more often than not the issue of race is entirely disregarded as an identifying characteristic. Yes, Brad is black and Jane is white, but that racial identity does not define the characters. It is a part of their characters, but it is contained within the context of who they are as a couple and as individuals.

The character of Max is an even more obvious example of the show's desire to define it's characters as people instead of symbols or caricatures. Max is a gay man, but rarely fits the stereotypical mold of what society considers to be a gay archetype. Max is slovenly and uncultured. He hates being in a relationship and has very little fashion sense, often wearing old, fading clothing. Max is essentially the definition of a twenty-something slacker, including his persistent unemployment.

Max is gay, but Max is not the "Gay Character" on the show. His sexuality is part of his personality, but once again it is not the trait that defines him. Like Brad, Max is defined by who he is and not what makes him supposedly different from the rest of the cast.

I think this is what the church is called to when Paul says that, "There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." He isn't saying that you no longer have any identity as a Jew or Gentile or as male and female, but that your identity is no longer defined by the exterior traits. You are defined by the thing that encapsulates your very being, that being your role as a child of God and a part of his creation. 

You are not first and foremost your religious affiliation, your socioeconomic status, your gender, your sexual orientation, or any number of other self-identifiers that make you into someone's stereotype. You are a human, made in the image of God and redeemed by his Son.

Amen for Happy Endings.

Peace,
Ben

When he talking about the TV sitcoms like they're totally serious, Ben often spends his time simply watching them and laughing, you know, like a normal person does. You can follow him on Twitter @BenHoward87 or email him at benjamin.howard87 [at] gmail.com

Apostle Paul Answers Your Questions

by Jonathan Harrison

The following advice column has been attributed to the Apostle Paul, but most experts think it was actually written by that anonymous guy who wrote 1 & 2 Timothy. Or it could be somebody else. It's also possible that we made it up entirely. Enjoy the inappropriately contextualized responses.

Dear Apostle Paul,

I’ve recently fallen for a girl in my youth group. Even though I’m only 14 and have a grade-school understanding of relationships, I’m pretty sure that God wants us to be together for the rest of our lives. She only knows my first name, I’ve only talked to her once in the past year, and she’s dating someone who’s old enough to have a license and drives a Ford Mustang. What can I do to let her know that we're meant to be? I already raise my hands during worship, but I don’t think this is enough.

Sincerely,
Tim in Topeka

Dear Timothy,

Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities because she's not that into you.

St. Paul

Dear Apostle Paul,

I recently had to sing a solo in church. Halfway through the chorus, I passed out from nerves and tumbled down the five stairs leading up to the pulpit. The accident caused me to break my arm, and since that time no one in church has talked to me without laughing. What should I do?

Please help,
Infirmed in Indiana

Dear Infirmed,

Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes. Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep. I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure. Apart from such external things, there is the daily pressure on me of concern for all the churches.

So quit your whining, young women like you shouldn't even be speaking in church.

St. Paul

Dear Paul,

Yesterday I unknowingly passed the communion plates at church with my fly open. A few old ladies winked at me and a couple of the elders said that I desecrated the sacredness of the Lord’s supper and should be disfellowshipped for life. What should I do??? I’m now living on the streets because my parents kicked me out of the house. I didn’t even realize it!!!! Please, please help me.

Literarlly crying right now,
Embarrassed in Emporia, 

Dear Embarrassed,

For I do not want you to be ignorant of the fact, brothers and sisters, that our ancestors were all under the cloud and that they all passed through the sea. They were all baptized into Moses in the cloud and in the sea. They all ate the same spiritual food and drank the same spiritual drink; for they drank from the spiritual rock that accompanied them, and that rock was Christ. Nevertheless, God was not pleased with most of them; their bodies were scattered in the wilderness.

I think that pretty concisely answers your questions and isn't vague or difficult to understand at all.

St. Paul

The Apostle Paul is a first century missionary, saint, and martyr. When he isn't answering your questions about life, he enjoys traveling, sailing, and frisbee golf. You can read his other writings over at the Bible.