Showing posts with label vulnerability. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vulnerability. Show all posts

Thursday, May 29, 2014

How I Still Evangelize

by Lyndsey Graves

“It makes me feel kind of icky.”

“I might have to do it, but I hope I never do.”

“Outdated and unnecessary.” 

 - Three reactions to the idea of evangelism, demonstrating that popular attitudes toward it are roughly analogous to those towards colonoscopies.

I involuntarily gathered these quotes by taking a class on evangelism this semester, and then by accidentally reading books for the class in public. My boss said aloud what everyone was thinking when he cheerfully-aggressively smiled and replied, “Just don’t evangelize me!”, executing a surprisingly spry spin away from me and closing his office door.

I have my own history with the word. As a kid, I came to believe that it meant getting strangers to convert to Christianity, especially if they were Catholic; so “evangelism” used to make me, a guilt-prone and stranger-averse child, feel slightly sick and clammy, like in those dreams where you’re back in school and you have to take a test you had no hope of preparing for. I didn’t even have a proper testimony, just an always-there knowledge that God was… always there. So when I first heard the whole “preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, use words” concept, it felt like getting off the hook for some cosmic homework assignment.

I am 100% into the idea that living a Christlike life is the best and most important way to evangelize - to “bring good news” - so that just maybe, other people can catch a glimpse of Jesus. Yet if that exhausts the definition of evangelism, we sort of lose the need for the word. The intention behind the verb goes missing. Yes, people might stop handing out hellfire tracts, so that’s a definite win, but we might also forget that “talking about your faith” was ever something done outside the walls of our Jesus club/church.

And if “going and preaching the gospel” is something to do, shouldn’t we somehow make a point of doing it… whatever it is? Even if it doesn’t mean telling other people their religion is stupid, or tricking them into accidentally coming to church, or doing mime-skits where the “lost” drink “beer” out of soda bottles handed to them by the “devil”/youth-group-guy-with-beard - shouldn’t we consciously share what is, ostensibly, good news?

I’ve reached the unpopular conclusion that we should. OK, so we’re all terrified that we’ll do it badly and ruin something precious - either the message of Jesus or a friendship. Great! The boring-mean-killjoy side of me thinks maybe we could stand to feel a little more cautious and reverent about some other things we Christians do; maybe we could be treating many more things and people as precious. A better side of me thinks this feeling means we’re finally starting to understand what evangelism is about: honesty and humility. Of course it’s scary; talking about faith can’t rightly be done without God’s help, and of course it feels vulnerable - you’re telling this personal story, and your friend might reject you, or Jesus, or both. 

And I think that’s part of why it’s been done so terribly in the past. It was easier to hide behind deceit, covering over the more difficult parts to make it all more attractive. Or else to mask our vulnerability with pride, pushing others toward faith through fear and threats, or “winning” arguments without ever really seeing people. But I don’t think that simply clamming up about our faith in response to these evangelistic tactics is helping to redeem those experiences for ourselves or other people. Maybe learning to share with our friends the struggles, journeys, and stories that are a part of us could put us on a path toward healing.

I think I can identify the times I’ve engaged in something akin to evangelism; Each time, it was accompanied by that please-help-me-what-am-i-doing feeling that usually means I’ve wandered out to the edge of faith, where God wants me to be. It happens when we put new effort into translating an old story into someone else’s language, when we ask for the gift of speaking faithfully, when we trace back over the outlines of what all this means for us.

It happened in a youth-group room when I gave my over-prepared junior-year “talk” and said how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ. It happened when I prayed halting, quiet prayers with high schoolers at the youth center who trusted me with their wounds and their scars. When I sat in an empty Gothic sanctuary with a questioning undergrad on Maundy Thursday last year, trying to talk about Holy Week sans Christianese and it was like he was washing our feet right there. Or when I blogged good news in a tear-filled flurry of breathless inspiration that felt like Spirit overflowing.

These moments have taught me a surprising reason God might want us to talk about him. Because in the middle of telling the old, old story, I heard the good news again for the first time. A listening, waiting, humble evangelism always teaches our own stories back to us. And in hearing those stories, in God’s helping us to tell them, in having to actually look at God again, we are folded back into her love anew. 

Lyndsey lives in Boston, MA where she is pursuing her Master's in Theological Studies at Boston University. She enjoys Community, Mad Men and Beauty and the Beast and her spirit animal is a sloth. She would like to know if this is some kind of interactive theater art piece. You can follow her on Twitter @lyndseygraves and you can find more of her writing at her blog To Be Honest. 

You can follow On Pop Theology on Twitter @OnPopTheology or like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnPopTheology. If you'd like to support what we do, you can donate via the button on the right of the screen.

Image Credits:
Image #1
Image #2
Image #3  
  
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Thursday, February 13, 2014

On Love

by Lane Severson

As a Christian, I find it very difficult to say anything about love that is both true to experience and true to my religious convictions. The Bible seems to indicate that God is love and that we are identified as part of God's people by being loving. The entire law boils down to loving God and loving our fellow man. At the same time we seem to only experience love in a glimpse here and there and even then, it seems to be enveloped by the rest of life – there, but indistinguishable from everything else. Or, on our worst days, it seems to have only been a cruel illusion that was never true at all.

The worst way to talk about love is when we reduce the word to the idea of “niceness.” Loving our neighbor then means that we are nice to people even when they are mean to us. The result of this is usually that we begrudgingly “take the high road” and subsequently feel self-righteous about it. No one actually says that this is what love is, but this is what often passes for “loving our neighbor.” In my experience, this kind of love makes me more of a dick and less like Jesus, and that makes me think it isn't love at all.

What does love look like? (If you just answered “Jesus” in your head, I'm going to smack you.) I have a couple stories that sound like love to me.

Once upon a time, a friend of mine broke up with his on-again-off-again girlfriend of what seemed like decades. Then, they both signed up for eHarmony and were matched with each other. And now they’re married with a couple of kids. I haven't seen them in years, so it’s entirely possible they now hate one another. But when I think of that story, I feel like love won. 

Or, I think of the woman in my Dad's church who got remarried to her first husband after 25 years of separation. That is the most romantic story I know.

I can also tell you stories about how I've hurt the people I love and how they have hurt me too. Obviously, I know the difference between doing something hurtful to a person that I love and doing something loving toward them. But I don't know what being loving looks like outside of a relationship that includes being hurt and forgiven.

A couple years ago, I found myself walking wounded, struggling with inner turmoil. A part of it had to do with a difficult encounter with my parents; they’d dropped the ball on some stuff in life that was deeply important to me. I finally brought it up to them, and they realized then that they’d not held onto that ball very tightly at all. They apologized; they asked if there was anything they could do to make it up. But emotional scars aren’t exactly the sort of thing that can be patched up with a gift card to Banana Republic. I answered honestly; I told them I didn’t think so. Now, they weren’t trying to hurt me. I just got hurt. They couldn’t fix that fact, and neither could I.

“What now?” my Dad asked.
“I think this is where grace happens.” I said.

One of the things I can tell you about grace is that it’s something totally beyond what we’re able to offer on our own, even to people we think we love. Grace is God being sufficient in our weakness. It is a divine help that is sent to us when we need it. Or, to be more accurate, it is sent when someone else needs it from us.

The moments in my life that seemed the most like love had almost nothing to do with me or with my ability to love. They all seem like the story above: the unlikely overcoming of things that were going wrong. I'm obviously not talking about the vapid idea of “falling in love,” which is just total bullshit. I'm talking about an idea of love that could somehow be a connection with the love that God is, a love that requires his presence because it requires us to be weak and him to be strong.

Loving our neighbor can't just mean “be nice, even when they don't deserve it.” As I mentioned above, this is a surefire recipe for becoming a huge d-bag. Loving our neighbor has to mean that we don’t hide our weakness anymore. It means that we can be vulnerable with people who are different, even repulsive, to us.

Love can only be this way, this deep and radical vulnerability, when it is grounded in a faith that God’s strength really is motivated by love and really will be present in our weakness. This means that exactly at the moment when we assume love hasn’t happened – when we have exposed our weakness and actually been a dick - that God’s grace can happen and we can finally experience what we believe to be true, that God is love.

Lane Severson blogs at On Pop Theology and Out of Ur. He likes charismatic liturgy and listening to Kanye West or Jay Z with his wife and five children. Lane can be found at about.me/lseverson or on Twitter @_lxnx.

You can follow On Pop Theology on Twitter @OnPopTheology or like us on Facebook at www.facebook.com/OnPopTheology. If you'd like to support what we do, you can donate via the button on the right of the screen.

Image credits:
Image #1 via Pink Sherbet Photography
Image #2, Love is just a game II by carunderwater-x
Image #3, Grace by davespertine 
  
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Tuesday, January 14, 2014

On Pop Theology Podcast: Episode 46 - Vulnerability and Race w/ Grace Biskie

by Ben Howard

The podcast is back! For our return episode, Ben sits down with author and blogger Grace Biskie. Their conversation focuses especially on the deep vulnerability of Grace's writing and her thoughts on racial issues stemming both from her childhood in Detroit and her bi-racial identity. In addition, we'll touch on issues of gender, feminism, marriage, and parenthood. It's a wonderfully open and honest interview, and I hope you enjoy it.

You can find more of Grace's writing at her website and you can follow her on Twitter @gracebiskie.

You can download the podcast by clicking here. Or you can subscribe to the podcast by searching "On Pop Theology" in the iTunes music store. If you like the show, please rate and review us on iTunes. It's the first step in our secret mission to take over the world.

Finally, if you'd like to stream the podcast, you can do that here: 



Peace,
Ben
 


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Friday, February 8, 2013

An Open Letter and An Invitation

I expect you agree
by Ben Howard

When I started this blog I had almost no concept of what I wanted it to be. I knew that I wanted to write and I wanted to watch a lot of TV and I had some vague notions about explaining God and the meaning of life. You know, everyday stuff.

To be honest, I expected that I'd probably write two or three posts and then let things fade to black. That's what I have a tendency to do. No one has ever mistaken me for an overachiever.

But something else happened instead. I'd love to chalk it up to a new found sense of will power, but that's just not the case. No, this blog became my therapy. It allows me to explore questions and emotions, to be eccentric and strange. It allows me dig at issues of significance without having to take things too seriously.

It allows me to be vulnerable. You allow me to be vulnerable.

There are too many places on the internet, too many places in real life for that matter, that make us stay on our guard. There are so many venues where questions are treated with hostility, where eccentricities are met with judgment, where vulnerability is an invitation of abuse.

I promise you that this place, this blog, will not be one of them.

And with that promise, I also offer an invitation. I invite you to become part of the conversation. I invite you, my friends, to ask questions and challenge assumptions. I invite you to laugh with us, cry with us, think with us, and wander with us through the maze of life. I invite you to be vulnerable with us.

Can you feel the love tonight...wait, wrong movie.
While there have been many other voices highlighted here in the past nine months, mine has been the dominate one. I will still be writing regularly, but I've also been working behind the scenes for the last few weeks to bring in a great group of outside writers who will be contributing regularly. Some of them will be familiar, some of them will be new. Some of them you've already been introduced to over the past two weeks.

I'm saying all this because I don't want this space to be about me. I want it to be about us. I want to offer to you what you have all so graciously offered to me.

I want this to be a community. A community that loves each other, accepts each other, and tells each other the truth, even if we don't want to hear it. I want this to be a community that plays together, that creates together, and that helps each other work toward that never-ending goal of shalom.

You have been my friends and I invite you, we invite you, to become our family.

Peace,
Ben

You can contact me via Twitter @BenHoward87 or via email at onpoptheology [at] gmail.com.

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