I'm Probably Wrong

by Ben Howard

"I'm probably wrong."

"Wrong about what?" I ask myself.

"Oh! Everything...probably. At least most things. To be more precise I am probably wrong about 90% of things. Except cake. I'm not wrong about cake. Unless, of course, I am. In which case I'm wrong about 91% of things."

"I don't think you're wrong about cake," my interior monologue counters.

"But what if I am? I mean, I don't think I am, but that's kind of the point isn't it? Nobody knows that they're wrong until they realize that they're wrong. You can only be wrong after the fact. Well, actually you were wrong all along, but you thought you were right and that was the only thing you knew. You only perceived yourself to be right. Maybe my perception about cake is entirely wrong."

"I don't think this is actually about cake. Unless it's about the band Cake in which case I think you take late-90's alt-rock far too seriously."

"You're right, it's not about cake. It might be about Cake, or at least the pyrrhic quest of the protagonist in 'The Distance'. I just wonder about the end goal of all the critiques and counter-critiques. It feels like everyone, myself included, is striving for some version of better/best, but such a pursuit necessitates a belief in a Platonic ideal for religion, for life, for reality in general. What if it's not actually possible to 'be right'? What if it's only possible to 'feel right'?"

"Are you saying there is no truth? No right answers? I don't know if I agree with that, it's a pretty bleak way to view the world. Also, are you stealing this artistic convention from Chuck Klosterman?"

"I'm not saying that there isn't a truth that underlies the universe. I believe in God and I believe God is the truth the underlies the universe, but I also believe that we can only ever see God through a glass, darkly. As a result, our perception of truth and reality will always be fuzzy and slightly askew. I guess it's more than a binary distinction between right and wrong, that false duality may be what's causing so much frustration. And yes, I am stealing this from Klosterman, but he probably stole it from someone else who stole it from someone else who ultimately stole it from Plato, so I feel like I'm in good company."

"I understand. It does serve as a useful vehicle to just openly say things you're trying to process."

"Exactly! I'm glad you understand."

"So what brought on this whole right/wrong existential crisis?"

"Christian leaders saying stupid things. To be more specific, my arrogant responses to Christian leaders saying stupid things. I realized that I was assuming that my faith, my interpretation was always right and I was judging everything against it. But that faith has changed so much over the last few years, and if I use history as a judge, it will continue to change and shift. My shifting, evolving faith isn't a very good benchmark to hold others to, that's not fair."

"So what should you judge them against?"

"That's exactly the problem I'm encountering. I can't judge them against my believe, because it's always moving. I can't accurately judge them by the Bible, because it's affected by my interpretation. I can't accurately judge them by historical Christianity because it's unfaithful to the contextual nature of faith. So I have to triangulate all of those and it's difficult.

"You could always, I don't know, try not judging them. That whole 'Judge not lest ye be judged' thing."

"I was going to get there eventually. I don't know, maybe some people need the message of Piper and Driscoll. I can't comprehend that, but I also can't comprehend people who like reggae, so maybe my understanding of the world isn't the end all and be all. Yeah, their message can be damaging when it's pushed on people who it doesn't help, but my faith could probably be damaging to someone who needs something stricter and more forceful."

"Could it be possible that the varying expressions of Christianity are all useful to some people in some situations?"

"Yeah, I think it could. Good talk self."

Peace,
Ben

Ben Howard is an accidental iconoclast and generally curious individual living in Nashville, Tennessee. He is also the editor-in-chief of On Pop Theology and an avid fan of waving at strangers for no reason. You can follow him on Twitter @BenHoward87. 

 

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An Open Letter and An Invitation

I expect you agree

by Ben Howard

When I started this blog I had almost no concept of what I wanted it to be. I knew that I wanted to write and I wanted to watch a lot of TV and I had some vague notions about explaining God and the meaning of life. You know, everyday stuff.

To be honest, I expected that I'd probably write two or three posts and then let things fade to black. That's what I have a tendency to do. No one has ever mistaken me for an overachiever.

But something else happened instead. I'd love to chalk it up to a new found sense of will power, but that's just not the case. No, this blog became my therapy. It allows me to explore questions and emotions, to be eccentric and strange. It allows me dig at issues of significance without having to take things too seriously.

It allows me to be vulnerable. You allow me to be vulnerable.

There are too many places on the internet, too many places in real life for that matter, that make us stay on our guard. There are so many venues where questions are treated with hostility, where eccentricities are met with judgment, where vulnerability is an invitation of abuse.

I promise you that this place, this blog, will not be one of them.

And with that promise, I also offer an invitation. I invite you to become part of the conversation. I invite you, my friends, to ask questions and challenge assumptions. I invite you to laugh with us, cry with us, think with us, and wander with us through the maze of life. I invite you to be vulnerable with us.

Can you feel the love tonight...wait, wrong movie.

While there have been many other voices highlighted here in the past nine months, mine has been the dominate one. I will still be writing regularly, but I've also been working behind the scenes for the last few weeks to bring in a great group of outside writers who will be contributing regularly. Some of them will be familiar, some of them will be new. Some of them you've already been introduced to over the past two weeks.

I'm saying all this because I don't want this space to be about me. I want it to be about us. I want to offer to you what you have all so graciously offered to me.

I want this to be a community. A community that loves each other, accepts each other, and tells each other the truth, even if we don't want to hear it. I want this to be a community that plays together, that creates together, and that helps each other work toward that never-ending goal of shalom.

You have been my friends and I invite you, we invite you, to become our family.

Peace,

Ben

You can contact me via Twitter @BenHoward87 or via email at onpoptheology [at] gmail.com.

Also, I invite you to join the On Pop Theology Facebook page, and post pictures, links, comments, or even just your personal reflections.

Finally, if you want to make sure you're getting all the updates, you can subscribe via email or RSS feed on the right hand side of the screen.